Life

Goodbye Sadness

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Hi everyone.

We started off our day in a really happy, calm way. No rushing, no fussing and just enjoying the start of the weekend. We both got washed and dressed, had our breakfast, Oliver went off to do his own thing and I had 20 minutes to myself.. Yay!

The weather was rubbish and rainy so we stayed at home in the warm watching DVDs, Peppa Pig and playing with Megablocks – Oliver used to just throw them around but he’s grasped how to use them now so that’s great, I love all things Megablocks/Lego! We had our lunch and pretty soon after monster went up for his afternoon nap as he was getting moany and irritable but he went down without a problem.

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This is where my day (and my life) came crashing down before my eyes.

I’ve always had issues with depression and I deal with it in my own way, I try my hardest to be happy and positive but some days it’s too hard to do that. I have always made effort with people, I’ve always tried to make everyone else’s life’s as easy as can be but I think you reach a point where you sit down and realise that actually, no one would do the same for you. It’s a one way street and you aren’t really important. That hurts.

I finally feel like change is needed, I’ve put up with the same crap for way too long and I don’t want too anymore, I want to feel happy again and let Oliver have the mum he needs.

He’s now fast asleep and I’m going to have some me time, some thinking time. I wish life was easier some times but then I realise how much harder some people have it than I do, I guess that doesn’t stop the pain.

This post is short and not the happiest and I’m sorry for that, this is my honest place and I would feel like I’m cheating you all if I made out I was okay.

I hope your day has been lovely.

Thanks for reading!

nxzxmc

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9 thoughts on “Goodbye Sadness

  1. We all deal with depression in our own way, how we know better. I realised my best friend is non existent since I had my baby and I miss her and got me so upset but in the same time I found the power to stop this crap. I don’t need people like this in my life. No more trying to please attention seeking people. I have my munchkin and it’s all I need. She brings me happiness. Look into your baby’s eyes and you will find the power to do all you want to

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      1. It is hard but I always think I want to be surrounded by positive people who can lift me up not bring me down. We deserve it. At least for that massive effort we make every day raising our babies

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  2. I was NOT expecting that :-/ I apparently suffered with depression myself after Caellum was born. Lost my job and everything. Life just fell apart. I’m still picking up the pieces and rebuilding. I’m not going to tell you what you should do because every person deals with different things in different ways. What I will say is that you know how to contact me and I will talk to you if you want. Even if it’s just to get it off your chest. I can see what a fantastic young woman you are and I’m happy to take time out of my day to try and help you work things out. Good on you for being honest by the way. Never sugar coat your feelings x

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  3. I suffer with depression and know how hard it can be. For me the best thing has been counselling which I get through a charity at a discounted rate x

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