My sweet baby,
You’re currently 18 months old, where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday I saw those big beautiful eyes for the first time and in that moment, I felt my whole world change.
In these 18 months you’ve had a lot happen, good and bad and whether you realise, I’m not sure. We’ve moved house a few times, we’ve had some really bad days but you’ve also had days of pure happiness and enjoyment, those are the days I treasure in my mind.
I’m sorry for some of the things you’ve seen and heard, I’m sorry that mummy isn’t always happy and wanting to play with you and I’m sorry I get cross and shout sometimes. Although I can be a rubbish mummy, I can promise you I have always tried my hardest for you and I always will.
Before you, my life didn’t really have much meaning. I was plodding through life looking for something to keep me afloat and my boy, you’ll never understand how much happiness you brought into my life. I don’t have much to give but I’ll give you all that I have.
You’ve grown into such a loving, happy little boy and I often look at you and think “wow, I can’t believe you’re mine” as I never expected to have such an amazing son.
You still find peekaboo hilarious and you love it when Boas has his funny 5 minutes going crazy in the garden, your laugh is infectious and puts an irremovable smile on my face. Of course, you have your bad days too but maybe that’s my fault, maybe what you’ve seen and heard has made you have a temper or act in a certain way, if that is the case, I’m sorry. I’m still learning but we will get there together.
I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything and I know you love me too by the way you look at me and the way you still love to hold my hand all the time. You’ll be my best friend from now until forever, my little life saver.