Life

Friends, What Are Those?

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Hi everyone.

This is a topic that’s been on my mind a lot recently so I decided to write down my experiences and thoughts.

I’ve had plenty of friends over my 20 years of life. I’ve had friends of friends, acquaintances, friends, best friends, you name it. I like to think I’m someone who tries to get on with everyone and will do whatever I can to make someone comfortable enough to talk to me but recently I’ve noticed a huge change in myself.

Although I’m still nice to everyone, I’ve forgotten how to be a friend.

I’m at the point now where I can’t actually name anyone that I’d say I’m close to or would go to if I needed a chat and truthfully, I think that’s my own fault.

I tend to go through stages of talking to people, replying all the time and then all of a sudden, I’m quiet. I won’t reply or talk. I’ll go days without responding to anyone. Why? I don’t really know. It can even happen with family.

I feel awful of course as I can’t find it in me to sit down and reply, I’ll stare blankly at a text message and then lock my phone. I do try my hardest – my brain blocks it for some reason.

It has got gradually worse over the last few years and I’ve drifted away from a lot of people I was very close to and I think it made me give up, everyone drifts away so really, what’s the point?

It’s not a healthy way to be and I would love to be able to click my fingers and become a chatty person with true friends I can count on but right now, I’ll focus on my little family and I’ll keep on trying – that’s all you can do, right?

I’d love to know if anyone else has gone through this also, it may restore some faith!

Thanks for reading!

nxzxmc

 

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9 thoughts on “Friends, What Are Those?

  1. I’ve had times where I’ve had loads of friends and then thrown it all away over silly decisions or lapses in confidence. I’ve had times where I’ve felt so lonely that facing the next day seems impossible.
    Now, I think I’m finding my feet again. I’ve made some great friends through Little Bear, and without them mummy life would be so much harder…although I still wonder if they actually like me or talk about me when I’m not around.
    I feel a lot of pressure around the whole friendship thing, despite actually having quite a good network when I really put my mind to it and have the confidence to connect!
    Xx

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    1. Yup, same here! I’d always feel like the outsider or like I was tagging along where I wasn’t wanted.
      It’s great you’ve found some friends! I love chatting to all you mums, it keeps me sane lol. I find that with other bloggers I feel confident but with people that don’t blog but read my blog, I feel ridiculed, weird isn’t it? Especially if they’re from my area, maybe they’re reading to talk about it with other people, the mind is a horrible place sometimes.
      I guess all we can do is try! So happy for you that you’re finding your feet again πŸ™‚ x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A super close friend of mine has done this so many times to so many people. I was always there for her. She got married last wknd. I wasn’t at it. She dropped contact a few years ago. I am sad and I have heard she is too. She had lots of friends at her wedding I hear so her lovely personality will always mean she has friends. Your post really talked to me. I hope you know that you are a good friend that people enjoy spending time with which is they message u x my friend found friendship really pressuring so I know this is best for her. Yours will too. What would I do if we met on the street? Hug her. Always!

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    1. It really is a hard situation to be in! You still love your friends dearly but for some reason, you just can’t be a friend to them.
      Thank you so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me and do give me a much needed confidence boost!
      I’m glad your friend is happy and I’m sure she would hug you too – true friends will always be exactly that πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Perhaps we are just the honest and strong ones who can talk about friendship struggles? Perhaps everyone, to some extent, feels the pressure and anxiety but due to self promotion and social media perceptions they just won’t admit it.
    Whatever the case, everyone has the qualities of a great friend and sometimes you just have to believe in yourself a little more
    Xx

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  4. I’ve lost a lot of friends since having Taylor, most of my pre baby friends have disowned me, I guess I’m not as fun anymore. However I have made some amazing friends since but I went to NCT and made a couple of really close friends through that, I think as we went through the births etc together it’s bonded us in a close way and also made some through baby groups. It’s so tough as I know if I hadn’t had the NCT ones when my other friends just stopped talking to me I’d have been extremely lonely. I’m quite nervous when I first meet people so don’t always find it easy but I’ve found having the baby’s in common is always a good conversation starter x

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    1. I think that’s the case with me too. I had to leave a lot of people behind as I didn’t want the teenage party lifestyle and they didn’t want a boring mum who didn’t want to come out.
      That’s so lovely that you’ve got support πŸ™‚ I’ve also found blogging helps me to start conversations etc, it’s so great. X

      Like

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