This is a topic that’s been on my mind a lot recently so I decided to write down my experiences and thoughts.
I’ve had plenty of friends over my 20 years of life. I’ve had friends of friends, acquaintances, friends, best friends, you name it. I like to think I’m someone who tries to get on with everyone and will do whatever I can to make someone comfortable enough to talk to me but recently I’ve noticed a huge change in myself.
Although I’m still nice to everyone, I’ve forgotten how to be a friend.
I’m at the point now where I can’t actually name anyone that I’d say I’m close to or would go to if I needed a chat and truthfully, I think that’s my own fault.
I tend to go through stages of talking to people, replying all the time and then all of a sudden, I’m quiet. I won’t reply or talk. I’ll go days without responding to anyone. Why? I don’t really know. It can even happen with family.
I feel awful of course as I can’t find it in me to sit down and reply, I’ll stare blankly at a text message and then lock my phone. I do try my hardest – my brain blocks it for some reason.
It has got gradually worse over the last few years and I’ve drifted away from a lot of people I was very close to and I think it made me give up, everyone drifts away so really, what’s the point?
It’s not a healthy way to be and I would love to be able to click my fingers and become a chatty person with true friends I can count on but right now, I’ll focus on my little family and I’ll keep on trying – that’s all you can do, right?
I’d love to know if anyone else has gone through this also, it may restore some faith!
Thanks for reading!