Miscellaneousness

It’s Not A Competition

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Hi everyone.

I don’t usually do blog posts like this but I was dying to let this out and I thought what better way to do it but to all you lovely readers.

Now, I fell pregnant with my little monster at 17. To some that is too young, truthfully, I couldn’t care less. I was at sixth form, living with my mum and I had the typical teenage lifestyle. Obviously finding out I was pregnant was a shock to Matt and I but come on, we knew what we were doing and what the outcome of that COULD be but we were over the moon.

We’ll skip to February 2015, I gave birth to Oliver at 18 years old. Matt and I were living together at my mums house until we could find the right house to buy.

I instantly found that I had gained more friends than I had in my whole life time once I announced I was pregnant, the amount of messages and other mums/to be mums wanting to be involved was honestly mind blowing.

This didn’t last however – as Oliver hit around 6 months they all seemed to disappear. The to be mums had their own babies and everyone else hadΒ faded away.

I then realised that as some of the new mums babies grew, it started to feel like a ‘competition’. Who’s baby can do what first, say what first, blah blah blah. It had turned from helpful comparison to a hurtful competition in my eyes.

As a few people had their babies around the same time as I had Oliver, some of the posts they were putting would somehow get to me. It felt like a race to see who’s baby could sit up first, stand first and all of the other lovely milestones they reach – I hated it. There were a few comments that were clear digs at other parents and it made my blood boil.

It started to make me feel insecure, as if I was doing something wrong. It took a lot for me to realise that ALL babies develop differently and he will do things when he’s ready.

Oliver wasn’t slow with things but I felt like he should be doing more, I now realise how stupid that was of me. It took a good reality check and a talk with those closest to me to realise that what will be will be, all babies do things at different ages and he will do things when he’s ready to.

The reason I wanted to put this out there was because I know I’m not the only one who was sucked in to the ‘competition’ mindset and I want people to realise that it doesn’t matter.

Some babies are slow, some are fast, it means nothing. Enjoy the moment and don’t wish the times away, that’s a mistake I’ve made and I regret it more than anything. I now enjoy every second and don’t think about what’s to come.

Thanks for reading!

nxzxmc

 

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8 thoughts on “It’s Not A Competition

  1. So true! Excellent post and this was something that used to bother me too. Even now my oldest is coming up to 3 there is competition, potty training, language development, understanding. It’s very frustrating. I don’t think people always mean to, I think sometimes they are curious. Although I noticed no one ever asked if your baby is doing something unless their baby already is πŸ˜‰ xx

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  2. Awww it’s so sad but u get this all the time, I’ve always been very proud of the milestones when my kids reach them, having two children close together, we have noticed the developmental stages r totally different and they both reach different milestones at different times. I too felt very sad at why people feel the need to brag, maybe they don’t realise they r doing it, when I’ve posted in the past about my daughter doing something it’s been out of genuine fear or amazement, I hope it came across to others like that and not bragging X

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    1. Same here! I felt incredibly proud but my mind but shot away when seeing other babies doing it sooner, it was awful. I did the same thing and of course never bragged, I purposely worded it so it didn’t upset anyone – it’s the ones that say “my baby is the most clever baby in the world” etc that get to me lol. X

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  3. I had the same thing when my first child was born in 2012 everybody was there and we got so many visits, but it soon wore off and by the time I had my second in 2015 we hardly saw anyone! I think your completely right it certainly doesn’t matter at what age you become a parent, your always there for your little one and what lovely things you write about. I too felt like it was a competition and still do know – my eldest was slower at milestones and I’ve had to accept that they all do things in their own pace – I’m so proud whatever they achieve πŸ™‚ x

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  4. I’m not even pregnant yet (will be in the next year, fingers and toes crossed) but I’m worrying about whether my baby will beat other baby’s ‘records’! there’s so much competition, especially on facebook, but I realised that like everything else they put on there, their baby pictures are just the “best bits” – no need to be jealous or compare because you don’t know what they’re like in real life!

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    1. I have my fingers crossed for you too! πŸ™‚
      It is an awful feeling but you’re definitely right, people only put on what they want people to see!
      Each baby is perfect and will develop when it’s time, don’t make the mistake I did and get sucked into it all! X

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